kebab : ki-barb
noun
    1 a foodstuff only available after dark and to people in an inebriated state : hold on, I've just got to get a kebab
    2 It's fucking lovely meat. : Outside a kebab shop, you might hear, "Mmmm, fucking lovely meat!"

Ken Dodds Dads Dog : say what you see
noun
    1 is dead : apparently
    2 is he? : No. Ozzy.

Kiddyfiddler : kid ee fid del er
noun
    1 pedophile : Michael Jackson's a dirty kiddyfiddler
    2 Child violinist. : Vanessa Mae was a keen kiddyfiddler.

KILL IT : killit
Verb
    1 Reaction to spectacularly horrifying animals made for b3ta. : "AAARRRGGGHHHHH!!! KILL IT!!!"
    2 Reaction to spectacularly cute, loveable animals made for b3ta. : "AAARRRGGGHHHHH!!! KILL IT!!!"
    3 Appropriate response to any post featuring small children. : AAARRRRRGGGGHHH! KILL IT!!

Kitten : kît''n
Noun
    1 Small, furry, multidimensional mammals that make up the fabric of the universe : ''Do quantum kittens play with superstring?''
    2 Evil beings that secretly plot mankind's destruction and must be potatoshopped at all cost : ''I haven't potatoed a kitten for a while.''

Knob Guillotine : nob gilloteen
noun
    1 a toilet seat that won't stay up : "Christ! I nearly lost the old chap in that knob guillotine!"

Knobsnogger : Nob-snogg-er
noun
    1 A snogger of knobs, a bumgayer : That Graham Norton? He's a right knobsnogger!

Kunt : c-u-n-t
noun
    1 Stereotypical german spelling of the word "Cunt" : "Fuck off you cocking kunt!"