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M3rlin : mer-linn
    1 A b3ta location device. Created by Robert Sargant from : i wonder where munkt0n lives? i'll check it on m3rlin
    2 The b3ta and 4rthur stalking device : See example 1

m3ss3nger : mess-UHN-juhr
    1 Precursor to Arthur. : Is so-and-so about? They're not on m3ss3ng3r

Magic Donkey : ma-jik don-qey
    1 Compiles the b3ta newsletter. NB. Does NOT front page posts. : "I sent in a link for the newsletter this week - I hope the magic donkey likes it."

Manchester : man-chess-toh
    1 City in North of England, famed for being dirty and full of scum who would be napalmed in any just society. : Anyone who thinks the Stone Roses represent the apex of musical achievement.
    2 City in North of England, famed for its charming, witty and all round thoroughly decent inhabitants who would be knighted in any decent society. : Intelligent people who know Joy Division, The Fall and The Smiths are the apex of musical achievement.
    3 City in North of England, where Supermoore lives. : What's that smell?
    4 City in the North of England, where it rains ALL THE FUCKING TIME : pass me a cape
    5 The new capital of England : Not London
    6 6. An area of Britain with low educational standards : Most Mancunians when polled either thought Manchester was the capital of England or a small furry animal rather like a haggis
    7 a small furry animal rather like a haggis :

Manuel, Rob : Man-yoo-ell, Rob
    1 The Ginger Fuhrer. : "Hail to thee, Rob, god among men."
    2 To steal the instruction booklet from something that has an instruction booklet. :

marmot : mar-mot
    1 Large ground squirrels : Good gracious, there goes a marmot!
    2 You either loveit or you hate it. : I prefer marmot to vegemot.

martian : mar-shan
    1 Person to blame for all media output. : "See that terrible show last night? I blame martian"

Marwood's Milky Man : Mar-woods mill-key man
    1 An alternative name for the Understanding Joshua series of pictures, by artist Charlie White. : Bloody hell, 5olly is even uglier than Marwood's Milky Man.

Masher : ma, like in "Emma" Sher like in Shergar.
    1 A b3tan who picture post's rarely, but often replies to postings. : "Mostly Harmless is a Masher" As coined by the very Rev. A-Mol.

Mast : ma-t
    1 Large structure, generally used for telecommunications transmission. : "Blimey, isn't it big?"

Meat Time : MT•tym
    1 The time of day when meat appreciation is shown. : It's always meat time.

meat waffle : meet-wah-ful
    1 a road-killed animal with tyre tread patterns impressed into its flesh : Fluffy's adventure in jaywalking immediately rendered her a meat waffle by a late-model Saab with new Goodyear Aqua-Treads.

meatworld : meeet wurld
    1 a deviation on 'meat space' - a term used by sci-fi authors for years : it's got fuck all to do with lo the greebo warrior
    2 a term, coined by the greebo warrior, to describe the real world (because 'everything there is made of meat, in one form or another' : gah, its raining in the meatworld, but on 4rthur, the sun always shines!

media scarf : mee dee ah skk arrf
    1 blip in transmission : cant post at the moment theres a media scarf on the go
    2 Foreskin. Based on the bell end headed seventies TV detective. : mmm, I love your media scarf Benny.

meh : (various)
    1 expression of a chronic lack of care for the subject : meh, can't be bothered
    2 Annoying sound made by middle class angst-ridden teenage goth girls with personality disorders : Meh! Everything is so rubbish, my life is so much worse than everyone else's. Do you want to hear a poem I've written about it? No? Meh.

Meme : mee mee, or meem, or maim, or mehm. noone knows.
    1 A recurring or viral image, series of images, or concept. : 1. a man trying to ascend into a helicopter while being attacked by a shark 2. all your base are belong to us. 3. domokun. 4. nohands. 5. furtive. and so on.

Merkin : Mur-kin
    1 Collective term of anyone living or coming from the United States of America : 'Don't listen to him, he's just a Merkin. Sadly as his contry has not yet invaded or been threatened by it, he thinks Adis Ababa is a make of Vacuum cleaner.'

Meta-spazz : met-a-spaz
    1 To time-spaz within a time-spaz or even time-spaz within a time-spaz within a time-spaz. : Someone spazs a picture then a second person replies with a related spaz of their own.

Microsoft Paint : mike row soft paynt
    1 What all great geniuses, such as Mike, use instead of Photoshit. :

midgetosity : mid-jit-oss-itty
    1 A scale of small units of measurement : On the midgetosity scale he was just above a webclam, but below a down on the farm. I'd say he was a backrubslut.

MiL : cth-oo-loo
Abbreviated term for Mother In Law
    1 Abbreviation for Mother In Law. : I feel like throttling the MiL

Milking it : mill-king it
    1 from the chris evans school of 'comedy' : see Isle Getty-Battler and Poss Gay Interest

Mind Piss : mined-peess
    1 To control the mind or actions of another, by direct use of telepathy : "Hahaa I beat you to that obvious response! I piss on your mind!"

mindpiss kitten : mined-peess kitten
    1 ginger kitten who uses mindpiss in its raised paws to control you : It wants me to call it nohands

mining : ming-in
    1 a chav word meaning rather ugly (so very used by them) : i aint porking her shes minging
    2 should actually be minging : This has nothing to do with underground excavation

Mong-lite : mong-lytuh
    1 Someone who has a partial dose of windowlickitis : That Jo Whiley has a special needs sister, and looks like she has copped half a dose herself. She's a mong-lite
    2 Someone who has spazzed up, out of character : Christ, I just put an apostrophe in 'your', I'm such a mong-lite
    3 Someone who has spazzed up, out of character : Christ, I just put an apostrophe in 'your', I'm such a mong-lite
    4 A browser that spacks up when you are posting something that can't be editted or deleted : see above

Mongolian clusterfuck : Mong-oh-leean clust-ah fock
    1 A sexual practice so extremely and hideous that is it were described here the monitor would spontaneously combust : Pimp: Holding out on me, eh? I'll show you. *Mongolian clusterfucks*

Mongolian Kestrel : mon go ly an kes tr ell
    1 Extremely weak lager : FFS I have a headache and i was only on mongolian kestrel last night

Mongoloid : mon-go-loyd
    1 Like a mong, only more severe. A total fuck-wit/retard. : You fucking mongoloid

monkey paws : mun-keh pause
    1 A double post on the board : DMQOB's back on dial-up - hence her spacky monkey paws

mono : mon·o
    1 Infectious mononucleosis : Haha, you've got mono!
    2 the opposite of stereo : why the fuck are all new digital radios in fucking mono?!?!?!?!
    3 Glandular fever : the kissing disease

Moo : mu
    1 The sound made by a cow. : "MOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
    2 jiva says it lots as an expression of love : MoooOOOOoooOOOooo

Moobs : m-oo-bz
    1 Man breasts. Contracted from "man boobs" = "moobs" :

Moon : mune
    1 The planet Earth's only natural satellite, probably made of cheese : Could you believe they put a man on the moon? No.
    2 Something which the very demanding may require to be given to them on a stick : *offers moon on a stick*
    3 Something which the Death Star most certainly is not : That's no moon!
    4 the act of producing ones unclothed posterior : I'm going to go moon some old ladies

moose : moos
    1 Pet kept by Ian Huntley, much-maligned beast used in Huntley's defence regarding the now infamous bathroom incident : Are you looking at my moose?
    2 A hoofed mammal : Have you seen the cloppers on that moose? In 50 years of being a farrier, I can safely say I've never seen a finer hoof.

Mouse Jam : mowse jam
    1 The crud found on the spindles of mechanical mice : "I can't photoshop properly" - have you checked your input device for mouse jam?
    2 A mixture of mice and at least 60% of mass (by law) sugar, which is both sticky and tasty : -Bah, run out of strawberry jam! -It's ok, we've got two pots of mouse jam.

Mr. Pedantic : Mis-ter Ped-an-tic
    1 A genetic cross between a monkey and Elvis that reads a newspaper, who writes ALL the pedantic posts on b3ta, because b3tans themselves would never do such a thing. : Mr. Pedantic says: Its spelt ''weird'', not ''wierd''.
    2 2. An honourary title currently held by a Mr. Robin Johnson : Example: "You are incorrect. It's spelt anal, and I should know." /Pendantic to the point of obsession

mroning : mnnnnnnngh *belm* *dribble*
    1 "comedy" misspelling of "morning". See <i>teh</i> : mroning the board. I'm a fuckwit.
    2 "comedy" misspelling of "morning". See "teh" : mroning the board. I'm a fuckwit.

Mumface : Mum-fay-ce
    1 Someone who looks like they should be a mother, but isn't. : Oh Mumface, when will you learn?

Mungo : Mun-go
    1 a nonsense joke which the more retarded board members struggle to understand : it doesn't have to make sense!
    2 Your name, everybody's name. : Hi Mungo, have you met my mate Mungo? I think you were both at Mungo and Mungo's wedding.
    3 Possibly the least funny in-joke in existence. : I have nothing to say, so I think I'll just post something about mungo again!! Hilarious!!11!!1one
    4 a powerful word, giving the user the ability to induce paranoia, anger and self-hate in the weak : WHO OR WHAT IS MUNGO??!

Munt : Munt
    1 The anus of a man, contracted form of Man Cunt. Can be used as an insult. : "You fucking munt"; or "Bend over, Mr. Berk, and lets see that munt of yours"

Munter : moon-terr
    1 German for lively, frisky or, if you will, chipper. : die junge, muntere Ktzchen
    2 The scariest fully-clothed thing on the internet, after the fear. : "AARGH! IT'S THE MUNTER!"

Murray : Murry
(n) That which is cunted
    1 That, which on being cunted fixes all known mecahnical and electrical faults : Word wouldn't save so I cunted it in th emurray and now it works

Mushroom : Muh - sh - room
    1 A type of capped fungus, comes in one of three types: edible, poisonous or magic. : "I AM THE MUSHROOM GOD!!!"
    2 A good contrast to badgers. : "MUSHROOM MUSHROOM!"
    3 Semi-regular b3tan who started the mast and lemming bandwagons. : "Cock off, Mushroom"

Mykey : my-key
proper noun
    1 Fat cunt, not to be confused with "my key" as you'll never open my front door that way. Unless you bowl the fat cunt at my door. But that wouldn't be very nice. : Hello, Mykey. That's 10 points right there.
    2 Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay. :

MySQL Error : m-eye-ess-cue-ell eh-rohr
    1 What you are presented with when trying to access b3ta on a friday (newsletter time) : I can't access the FP, I keep getting MySQL Errors

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