F5 : eff-five
noun / verb
    1 The alternative to going to bed : I'm just going to F5 once more
    2 Much slower races than formula one races. :

Face Wash : fayse wosh
various
    1 something you use to wash yer face with : hand me the face wash, Miriam, my face is dirty
    2 Any item which, having been sent, never arrives : Glen Miller stepped onto his plane on 15th December 1944, and completely face washed
    3 An utterly irreplaceable possession : I can't live without my face wash!
    4 Like a car wash but much much much much much smaller. And you have to walk through it. : At the face-wash...

Faggotry : Fa-got-tree
Adj.
    1 See: Homophobia, casual :
    2 A tree that grow meat balls, : "Take me to the faggotry and fill me up with your meatballs. The time has come for faggotry when the landlord calls his cause!" - popular 16th century folk song by Paul McCartney.

Falkirk : faw-ll-kirk
noun
    1 A town in Scotland, where he residents speak only French. : home of the baguette
    2 To annoy Columbo. :

FAQ : Fack
Word
    1 Frequently Asked Questions : something oblivious to n00bs
    2 Farts and Queefs. : I dunno.

Fassit : fas-sit
noun
    1 Uncooth accident-prone Northern type, said to resemble Kiefer Sutherland. : It's your round Fassit, you tight git.
    2 A fawcet said by a faster face. :

FBMS : f-b-m-s
Abreviation
    1 Pungent odour eminating from large women with poor hygiene in the lady garden area : Jesus, the whole office stinks of FBMS

Fear :
Noun
    1 Unspeakably evil monstrous being : Argh! Noooo.... the feeeeeaaaarrrr!!!

Felch : fellchh
verb
    1 To suck seminal fluid from an anus : "Craig fucked Paul up the ass and then felched him"

Fez : fezz
noun
    1 A man's felt cap in the shape of a flat-topped cone, usually red with a black tassel hanging from the crown, worn chiefly in the eastern Mediterranean region. : That's not a proper spong - no fez!

FFS : eff eff ess
expresion
    1 For fuck's sake : Is that a badly drawn cock? No, it's Adolf FFS . . .
    2 expression : Holly can't post today cos she has to work FFS

Figging : phee-ging
verb
    1 Sticking peeled ginger up someone's (or something's) anus. : I figged her.

Firefox : fy er focks
noun
    1 the only browser worth bothering with : what's the only browser worth bothering with? FIREFOX!
    2 A nice browser, second only to Opera. Although it is free. : Opera: the browser of winners
    3 The new sport which has taken the place of fox hunting. It involves less dogs and more petrol. :
    4 4. not actually as good as it's made out to be : 'actually I prefer browser x'

Fish doughnut : feeeeeesh dough cnut
noun
    1 something so fucking useless, hopeless and unworthy it need never have been invented : the leaning tower of pisa ... wtf ... its a fish doughnut
    2 Lunchtime snack created at the spacker school of cookery : hedgehog waffle . . . i have nothing but fish doughnuts in my lunch box
    3 Unwashed padge : That Lisa Riley really needs to clean up her fish doughnut. With a lemon scented product perhaps?!!

Flack : Flahhhhk
verb
    1 another meaning for a back-scuttle : ""Oooh Susan, let's nip off for a quick flack"
    2 The noise of a moist emu flapping its wings. : Flack flack flack! It's no good! I can't take off; I'm too moist.

FLFND : Eff Ell Eff En Dee
noun
    1 Fit Lass From Next Door. a term used by greebo to describe the woman from the office next door, that he is too scared to ask out : YAY! FLFND is wearing a low cut top again.

fluffify : fluff-ify
verb
    1 (fluffified, fluffification) To become more fluffy : I feel so fluffified now that I've seen that kitten gallery!

Fluffy : fluff-ee
Noun
    1 Furtive the bear's counterpart. A very fluffy penguin. usu. being stolen by Furtive. : ''Furtive's got Fluffy the penguin. Where's he taking him today?''
    2 Warm, nice, friendly and helpful : "Be fluffy, he can't help being stupid he's a noob"

Flunge : f-lun-ge
noun
    1 The flunge is the wobble of flesh that protrudes between the waistband of hipster trousers and the hem of a too-short t-shirt : look at the flunge on her" and "don't wear that, it's a bit flungy

Flunge Bucket : Fer-lunge Buck-et
noun
    1 Female, who has flunge, tit flunge, arse flunge and sock flunge all at the same time : that fat pie eating munter over there is wearing clothes 6 sizes too small...Yeah, she looks like a flunge bucket

fondlabra : ph-hn-dal-ar-brah
noun
    1 A cross between an ornate light fitting and a sexual assault. : Gosh! That was a lavish fondlabra!

Food Horn : food horn
verb: to fantasise about eating to the point at wh
    1 uncontrollable lust after foodstuffs : i.e. god I've got the food horn. I must have bacon

Foon : f-oo-n
noun
    1 angelic hybrid of fork and spoon : not a spork qv.

Four Pounds : for pownds
err, dunno
    1 Stouffer's sex charge. Arose after a young lady left four pounds on Stouffer's floor after a night of, ahem, passion. He considered it a tip for excellent service. Perhaps more likely is that she had rubbish pockets. : Ta very much love, that'll be four pounds.
    2 Phrase punishable by a smack in the chops. : "Four Pounds" THWACK
    3 Tired joke relating to the above tale. : Hey Stouffer - FOUR POUNDS. HA HA HA HA HA.

FP : eff-pee
Noun/Verb
    1 The b3ta front page : Look at the FP!
    2 The act of getting an image/post onto the front page : FP IT! FP IT HARD!
    3 You don't have to thank people when you get a front page. : So please don't... it's so irritating.
    4 self congratulary methodology between b3ta moderators : the same old names that keep appearing on the front page
    5 A source of consipracy theories, made up by people bitter about their own images not being frontpaged : They didn't frontpage my picture! It must be due to a self congratulary methodology between b3ta moderators!
    6 A type of tiny monkey that climbs in your ear and shits out your nose. Or at least, I wish it was. It would be more interesting. : "Have you seen the FP today?" "No. Because it's generally shit."

Frabnadgery : Ffrrabnájeríe
Variable
    1 A wasteful use of time : YOU, stop that frabnadgery and get your arse in gear!
    2 A word used to vent frustration : Frabnadgery! I can't go to SSG's bash

frell : frel
noun, verb, or adjective
    1 another word for fuck or fucking; from TV show Farscape : What the frell was that?!(noun); Frell this, I'm leaving.(verb); You have no frelling clue.(adjective)

Friend of Berk's : fur-end ov ber-kz
insult
    1 Someone who, no matter what you link to or what information you post, always has seen it at least three months ago (even when its brand new). : Person A: "This is just out" - Person B :"Superman is dead!" - Person A: "You truly are a friend of Berk's arent you, you wankbiscuit"

Frog : Ribbit
Noun
    1 That which gets trapped in a car door : A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door!
    2 a trapped animal : A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door! A frog trapped in a car door!

FTL FM : eff tee el eff em
noun
    1 Part time radio station run by b3ta talk boarders : www.ftlfm.com
    2 The official acronym stands for 'Fuck the Lord'. However, it was deemed too blasphemous and is usually quoted as meaning 'Fun Time Listening' : FTL FM: Broadcasting to more people then you can comfortably fit in a large living room.
    3 A Hanksterism :

Fuck, Get to ~ : get tu fuk
Imperative
    1 Exhortation to leave, cease or desist. : get to fuck you fucking fuckhead.

Fuckass : fu-kaz
noun
    1 see: Martian : hello fuckass, how's mrs martian?

Fucknuggets : Fuh-k-nuh-gets
verb
    1 Expletive for when something goes wrong : oh fucknuggets, I've missed the sodding bus again
    2 Small nuggets of fuck used by astronauts rather than more cumbersome whole-fucks. : Houston, we have some fucknuggets.

fucknuts : fhuk-nuttz
the best insult for a bald man
    1 the best word to insult bald men. : oi fucknuts, you're standing on my toe...

Fucksocks : fuksok
Noun
    1 An expletive commonly believed to be shouted by suffers of Tourettes Syndrome : Fucksocks! My computer crashed!
    2 slang for condom : Most commonly used to describe bewilderment or incredulousness, meaning (noun/adj) a pair of coloured (normall) socks, engaged in either tender or boisterous koitus.

Fucktard : f^kta:d
noun
    1 A fucking retard : Stop posting that bloody goatse link, you fucktard!

Furtive : fur·tiv
Noun
    1 A polar bear infamously known for acts of assault, vandalism, and penguin theft. :
    2 characterized by stealth; surreptitious. :
    3 Expressive of hidden motives or purposes; shifty. : “Furtive just nabbed David Blaine’s head!”
    4 originally it meant that the subject in the picture had his head titled about 10" to the left or right with a suspect look in its eyes : doesn't david niven look a bit furtive there

fwap : fwap
interjection
    1 Sound made whilst masturbating furiously : *fwap fwap fwap fwap fwap*
    2 A word commonly used in an episode of Batman, 60s style. : Fwap, kabosh, Pow!
    3 vbloke's hair gel : stick some fwap in your hair - that'll calm it down
    4 Furiously Wanking At Porn : (c)2004 retro-definitions-R-us
    5 A hair product that attracts bees : Gerrofff!

FwapTop : ferr wap topp
noun
    1 Wireless enabled laptop being used in a soundproofed room for the purposes of illicit viewings of internet pornography. : 'ever since the kids were old enough to walk I've had to resort to using the fwaptop

FYI : eff wye eye (geordies accent preferred)
expression
    1 For Your Information : FYI FLFND is W/Y/H
    2 Finland yoghurts itself. : Fuck knows. Them Finnish bastards. I don't trust them.